Shushing the librarian.

There's nothing like having a patron come up and shush YOU, the library worker, in the library (sorry you couldn't handle the 30 second video spot I was showing my coworker). Especially when said patron is consistently the last one to leave at the end of the night & you & your coworker have to stand there & wait for her to pack up her stuff. EVERY. TIME.

If it were any other patron my coworker & I might have understood, but I am really irritated that a patron with so little consideration for the staff would have the gall to try to tell us that OUR behavior is unacceptable to her. Unbelievable.

Hilarious library question of the day:

Manifesto: "Do you get danger pay for working in a library with wifi?"
Me: "...No."
Manifesto: "Oh. You should."

On new students.

You are in university now. Do you really need your mom to come with you to get your student ID card? And on top of that, you really couldn't look up where to go & how to do it on your own - mom had to do that too? How old are you, 4?

Don't drink and dial?

One of my friends posted this on her Facebook last week and I thought I'd share.

 

M: "Good morning, Library. M Speaking."
Patron: (Heavy breathing, slurring) "Do you have a book on aboriginal medicine and modern medicine? All that in one book?"
M: "Well, the University of M has a lot of books, so I don't know off the top of my head, but I can certainly check for you!"
Patron: "And to use the book, you need to be a student?"
M: "You need to be affiliated with the University of M in some way, yes. Staff at (hospital) have access though! Can I get your phone number?"
Patron: "I do have a card... with special instructions, just for me... I have a staff number."
M: "Can I have the card number? The 14 digit, right on the front. If I look for this book, I'll need to contact you."
Patron: "I'll call next week."
M: "What is your name, sir?"
Patron: "God." *Click*

And on today's episode of "manning the circulation desk"....

psych health patient: What's the date today? April 14th?
me: 13th.
psych health patient: Oh, when's the world supposed to end?
me: Not til december.
psych health patient: Good, I've still got some time then.
me: Yep.

And in other news, according to Manifesto, one of our chairs "smells like someone had diarrhea in it."

Got any books?

From Mr. TGS in Canada:

Child: "Are there any books here?"
Me: "I don't know... I think there are..."
Child: "Any GOOD books?"
Me: "Oh no, we don't keep those here."

^ Moments like those make me love my job.

Question of the day:

Patron: "Where are those cubicle things?"
Me: *blank stare*
Patron: "Like, where people study."

I'm not sure who is made of more jello than brains today, me or him?!

I really get a kick out of my blog stats sometimes...

Just checking my stats today and saw that someone found this blog by searching for "farting library patrons".

Well my friend, looks like you have come to the right place! Hahaha!

Someone also found this blog by searching for "of what help is library science to religion".

So, dear readers, of what help IS library science to religion?!

Questions from Manifesto:

We have a patron from the psychiatric ward who comes in on a regular basis & is always spending hours typing out long documents (hence the nickname Manifesto) & always seems to lose them. Here are some of the questions he has asked over the past few weeks, notice that he seems to have some huge issues with Gmail. He also wears two pairs of pants at a time and for lunch, he'll bring in a plastic bag with six plain buns in it & occasionally a carton of milk. He has a bowl haircut that is about 2 inches above the top of his ear...we like to call it the anti-monk.

"Does Gmail work the same on the weekends as on the weekdays? I saved some emails last night and now they're not there anymore."

"I saved a document to my email, and when I came in the next day to open it, the computer told me I need a Japanese translator to open the file! Do you think my Gmail account has been hacked?"

"I just logged into all of my Gmail accounts at once, I have 3 or 4 of them, and then your computer system logged me out! Do you know what's wrong with the computers?" (Maybe just try logging into one email at a time, sir....)

"I was at another library yesterday, and I hadn't been there in a month, but when I opened up YouTube it already had me logged in!! Do you know why it would do that?" (Surprise surprise, he had logged into Gmail just before that happened.)

"Does the library always have human bones on display?"

"Are these real Mac computers?" (He then proceedes to start moving around the monitor & tower to inspect for signs on authentic "Mac-ness".)

"Do staff...monitor the security of these computers? I left for about three hours & when I came back someone had logged me off the computer and I lost all of my work." (Uh no...the computers will log you off automatically. This was also the THIRD time in a week he had come to the desk with this scenario.)

At one point he had gone past a church with a lot of people outside earlier in the day & asked one of my coworkers what she thought was going on. Her response: "maybe a choir practice!" And then he started to go on some tangent comparing a 9-5 job to religion.

Last night he had also decided that the mouse he had been using for several hours was "too greasy", so he proceeded to take a pile of hand sanitizer & start scrubbing the crap out of it. We do lysol all of our computers on a weekly basis & it got to the point where I actually had to go up to him & tell him to stop before he damaged our equipment.

Paranormal evidence @ the library.

From Lisa in Canada:

During one of my first shifts at my new library job, a friendly older gentleman approached the desk and started making small talk with me while I set him up with an internet pass. He asked me if I believed in ghosts and I said yes. He said "well then I have a treat for you!" He then pulled out his digital camera and proceeded to scroll through the pictures until he found the one he wanted. He zoomed in on something and showed me the camera. It was a photograph of a forest with a strange glowing blue orb. He explained that it was a floating eyeball, and on closer inspection it actually did look like one! At this point my coworker at the computer beside me turned her screen to face me and gave me the look. She had opened up a Word document and typed in giant letters, PLEASE STOP TALKING TO THIS MAN!!!! Later on, she told me that he was a regular who likes to us our computers to upload his ghost phenomenon photographs.

Well....I liked him!