This one submitted by Glenda, at a public library:
Ring, ring, ring….
Glenda: **** Public Library, this is Glenda.
Caller: *High-pitched cartoonish voice* Hello...who am I talking to?
Glenda: This is Glenda.
Caller: Well, Linda (This is when I knew I was in for it!) this is Mary Smith.
Long awkward pause...I never know if I’m expected to say something here
Glenda: Hi Mary, what can I help you with?
Caller: Do you deliver books?
Glenda: Sure. We have a book basket program that is delivered every other week. It went out the end of last week, so if you need something now, we’d be happy to get it to you. What do you like to read?
Caller: Well, I’ve been hearing quite a lot about Shakespeare and I think I’d like to read it.
Glenda: Which one of Shakespeare’s works would you like to read?
Caller: He has more than one?
Glenda: Yes, he wrote a lot. (The other librarian in the office is now almost rolling on the floor while I try to maintain a professional voice.)
Caller: I’d like the first one.
Glenda: OK, I can find that for you. What’s your address?
Caller: *Silence*...Don’t you know it? I have a membership at your library...I get a little confused with all the medication I’m on...
Glenda: I can look that up. *checking in computer* Do you still live at 123 Main Street?
Caller: No, I don’t live there anymore. *Silence as she waits for me to guess again*
Glenda: Wait a minute let me get the phone book. *Frantically flipping pages to find it while trying not to laugh out loud.* Is it 321 First Street?
Caller: *excited, as if I had the right answer on Jeopardy!* That’s it!
Glenda: I’ll bring you a book this afternoon. See you then.
I hang up, burst into laughter until the tears are rolling down my face.
So, naturally I delivered “Collected Works of Shakespeare, Vol. 1 to her. Think she’ll enjoy it??